Past and Present
by siberian
Summary: Aya meets a girl from his past, leaving him contemplating between the past and the present... please review =)!!


Aya hated surprise.

Well, actually he had once loved surprise. Once. When he hadn't been living in this hell.

He had loved the surprise Aya-chan and his parents had had for his birthday. That had been his favourite one. There had been so many surprises too he had loved back then… he couldn't even remember them again now.

But it all had changed the the day he had had the cruelest surprise in his life. The day when he had gone home only to find his parents slaughtered. The day when he hadn't been able to save his sister because he had been too taken by surprise. When the first fingers of cruel fate had touched his world for the very first time, giving him surprise in the worst way imaginable.

And now… now when he had finally been able to accept his life, to mold with his new world, his new friends… to his fate… she had to come.

_Ran!!_

_ _

Bursting into the flowershop, full of energy, full of laughter. And when she had finally spotted him, she had run to him, hugging him as if he had been her best friend in the whole world, as if everything had been okay.

_Ran! You still remember me, right??_

_ _

As indeed, he did. How could he forget her? She still had that beautiful long, wavy purple hair, still had that sparkling jade eyes, still had that beautiful smile on her face. Her voice was still light, she was still cheerful, still friendly. She was still… she.

_It's me!! Hayami Reika!_

_ _

Yes, she was still the same Hayami Reika he remembered. Still the same Hayami Reika he had fallen in love with during his high school years.

God, how long had it been?

Her showing up like that had opened up a part of his past that he had carefully locked away. A part when he had still been an average boy, when all he had known was love and laughter, when he still had had his happy family complete, when the worst thing he had ever done was breaking his schoolmate's hand in a fight, when the thing he had hatefully resented was only working part time in the restaurant.

When he still had had his innocence, when his hands had still been unstained, when the cruel world he was living now had existed only in novels and televisions. 

And Reika had been one of the important persons during that time. She had been the only girl that could get so close with him beside his imouto. She had shown him the world, had shown him all the happiness that he, being a quiet, a bit cold and introvert person he had been, hadn't known. 

But then, as his world started to crumble, as the fate had held him fully in its hand, Reika and all the happiness she had brought together had easily been out of the picture.

And he had forgotten about her, he really had. All the memories of her had been drowned deeper and deeper in the pool of blood in his every mission. 

He had, until a few minutes ago. 

And now that she had showed up again, now that her image and the memories about her had resurfaced again in his mind, he started to question himself about his feeling.

He couldn't possibly loved her, could he? 

No, he didn't love her. Not anymore. 

And even if he still loved her, Aya doubt that Reika would love an assassin back. No, he didn't want to wipe that smile from her face. He didn't want to take away that happiness and cheerfulness away from her.

Wasn't it part of his job to make sure that people like Reika was happy? To protect people like Reika so that the smile would forever be on their face?

_This is my address. Come over, will ya? I want to know what the hell has happened to you. You know, maybe we can have fun together again, have a few chat and talking about the good old days…_

_ _

Aya stared at the piece of paper on his hand. He stared, and then teared it into pieces, letting the pieces fell to the floor.

No, he wouldn't come.

He didn't want Reika to find out what had happened to him these past years. He wanted to have the memories the cheerful, full of life Reika in his heart.

Hadn't she once been an important girl in his life?

And let it be that Reika only had the memories of a quiet, unsocialized Ran in her mind. Maybe that would be the best. Besides…

Besides…

"Aya, what's wrong?"

Aya looked up the the source of the voice, staring into a pair of deep liquid brown eyes.

Besides, he had Ken now. Ken, his friend and his lover.

And that was more than he could ever hope.

"Aya, you look so… troubled. Is there something wrong happen??," the other boy asked, concerned. "Oh, God, it's not Aya-chan, is it??"

What was it about Ken that attracted him so greatly?

In a split second, he realized that Ken reminded him so much of Reika. He was so friendly, so cheerful, so warm, so full of energy, so brimming with life.

But it wasn't just because of that.

"No, Ken, nothing's wrong".

Ken eyed him skeptically. "Okay…if you say so…". His eyes then focused on the pieces of paper on the floor. "That is the address of that girl, isn't it?"

In Aya's opinion, Reika was perfect. Her every move was eye-catching in its unique ways, everything she did was excelently done. It was as if she could do everything in her own, even without any help.

"Why did you tear this?"

But Ken… Ken was different. Ken was so naïve, so clumsy, so careless, so hot-headed. He was the do-now-think-later type of boy, and Ken needed someone to watch over him, to keep him out of trouble.

Ken needed him. And maybe, that was what attracted him to Ken.

Because he needed to be needed. Reika didn't really needed him the way he wanted her to. But Ken… Ken was needy and Aya needed to be needed. 

"I don't need that, Ken".

Ken raised his eyebrows. "O~kay… so who is this girl? You got us really curious. You have to see Yohji's expression when he saw the girl threw herself to you".

"Oh," Aya smiled smugly. "I prefer to find out *your* expression that time".

"What was that, Aya?," the brunette laughed. Aya smiled, listening to the sound of his laughter, loving how just the sound of his laughter made him feel better.

"She was… well, she was my girlfriend. Once," Aya said casually.

The laughter suddenly died followed by a silence. "Oh…" Ken said finally.

"'Oh?'," Aya echoed. "Are you jealous, Ken?"

"N…NO!!," Ken blurted out, his cheeks turned a lovely shade of red. 

Aya's finger played absent-mindedly with a rose. "She… she reminded me of you, Ken".

"Huh? Me? In what way?"

"I don't know. Your character, maybe. But then again, maybe not. She was perfect while you are… well, you know," he said, the corner of his lips tugged up, forming a small smile.

"Huh?? I'll try not to take that as an offence," Ken said, hands on his hips.

Aya let out a chuckle. 

"Um…Aya…?," Ken asked hesitantly.

"What?"

Ken frowned at him, his expression unsure. "Is that…my imperfections make me…well… worse in your eyes?".

Aya stared at him, taking in the other boy's feature. Looking at the way his brows knitted together in a cute way, looking at his large coffee-colored eyes, at the pouty curves of his mouth, at the unsure stares he was throwing, Aya gave in to the urge to hold Ken in his arms and kiss him.

He reached out, pulling Ken by his hand, leaning for a kiss but stop when his lips only a few millimetres away from the brunette's lips.

"No, Ken. That makes you even more wonderful".

Then he completed the kiss.

And as he felt Ken smiling and opening his mouth for Aya to deepen the kiss, all thoughts of Reika laid forgotten in the farthest place in the back of his mind.

Yes, Reika was a past, and with every ticking of second, the memories of her would eventually fade away. Now, laid in front of him, was the relationship with a certain brunette, waiting to be explored.


End file.
